Interracial Boundaries

Well, this is just me riffing for a second...using the keyboard to express myself. Got me?

Anyways, the thought is interracial relationships. I actually haven't had a serious relationship in all my life, and that is a whole different topic, but I dont think it is anything beyond myself. Yet, the case of interracial boundaries seems like something very external from the wordage, right? Thinking about it as I type I wonder...

Just to give a background on my thought process here, lettme explain myself a bit, okay? Me and relationships seem like something that wont happen until the stars align and everything beautiful in the heavens, yaknow? In the past I've dealt with a lot of different girls on some level: friends, buddys, strangers, and everything in between but I never had a girlfriend. That is very weird for a lot of the girls that know me, and have known me for a while...at least like a year and have gotten comfortable with me. A lot of people see me as a moderately sociable, fluctating between outrageously sociable and talking to anybody and everybody to someone that is quiet. That is a matter of mood, right?

I switch up, but I'm not real moody, it all relates to my health at the time or the situation in life, or occurence, which isn't any better than being moody to me. I much rather the dictator of my moods be internal, as in the case with moody, than something external. Circumstances controlling your movements is absolute foolishness, and I know it. So, as an add in to what I know other people see and have observed is that I may be detatched or incredibly optimistic as though not in touch with reality. Yet, those are my extremes in most cases. For the most part, I'm either shy or talkative, and everyone that involves themselves with me has heard how much i like/love woman.

So, with that all added up how can I not have had a girl? Well, as I said, Ive done everything inbetween, oh yeah, I'm a virgin in all technical terms, meaning I've done things - which I'm sort of ashamed of, because I was real young back then - but I've never gone all the way...but no offical girlfriend for an extended period of time that would be considered like..."yo, hey [so and so]" yaknow? Like my friends wouldn't call her friend - meaning a long relationship...a girl that I was with for a month...or something.

Anyways, how does that background go into interracial relationships/boundaries? Well, Idris is a man that loves woman...not just black woman, or white or whatever. I like them all, dont know why I wouldn't. Even have a little yellow fever - every ethnic group has a woman that attracts me to them - they are still human, yaknow, but the problem arises. The same conadrum that finds it way in a man that is a self-proclaimed women-lover not ever having a real relationships is apparant, but also the fact that breaking through the boundaries of race is a hard one in Babo--I mean America.

I really like the whole idea of having one girl, and not having any others afterwards, but I doubt it right now and want to atleast expirement with a plethora of woman and have a rap sheet that defines my wants without hurting anybody in my escapades, yaknow? I just wanna get to know girls on a level that no friend can, and be apart of someone's life so deeply that even without the titles, the physical affection (kisses, massages, and etc.) would still be someone I was close with. In our culture that comes from either family, but not neccessarily, and also relationships of deep friendships that bare compassion on both sides. One-sides relationships dont work, so anyways, going back to the topic. Now, i want to do that and want to get to know all sort of different people, of different cultures, and different woman...

The problem arises that it's hard to break through that invisible boundary that comes from differences. A lot of people can't see themselves in you, and find attraction when your skin is darker or lighter, so it makes it hard for attraction to even arise. Now, this is a blog and I'm just letting my brains leak, and I dont really have an objective at all beside writing this out, but anyways...i love woman, and I aint got nothing more to say other than I want someone to give me a chance because I'm sick of pursuing only to find a disappointment in the woman's actions, mind-state, or situation.

One

Listening: Jay-Z "Sweet"